Going in Loops

eternity-symbol

It’s been a week past my last post about my roller coaster recovery. And it’s devastating for my husband, family, and I that this ride isn’t over yet. Not even a bit.

Just to recap, the meds I was given over a week ago did not work. I received a 2nd ultrasound that shows a mass in my uterus. We don’t know what this mass is, how big it is, or where exactly it is but it needs to get out surgically. But the dang doc did say the ultrasound can’t determine what it is but it could be anything, a blood clot… or you know, no big deal, cancer!

Immediately after unexpectedly hearing him say the word “CANCER” my mind went all over the place. I felt sick to my stomach. I quickly thought about my girls, my husband, my family. The doc went on and on about how that would be very rare and how he’s only seen uterine cancer in the Philippines or something like that, but all I could hear was the word “cancer” over and over and over as his lips kept moving.

I felt I could easily burst out in tears but somehow with the grace of God kept it together in front of the doc and my husband and was able to finally listen to the doctor talk about something else as we were leaving the room. Once we reached the checkout desk we had to wait for the gal to get off the phone and my husband looked at me and I just started to cry, he hugged me and told me it was going to be OK. I guess I was a bit naive to think last week I wouldn’t need surgery at this point.

The doctor thinks giving me a D&C where he’ll have a special small camera inside me will help him determine if he can get this sucker out so it can be sent to the pathology lab where they’ll be able to tell what it is exactly. It could be something benign. I have no idea how long that will take if they’re able to get it out.  The doctor thinks this unknown mass is behind the pain and crazy symptoms I’ve been having since giving birth to my third pregnancy but second child. I sure hope so because if not, it looks like I am going to have a rough medical start to the year 2017.

When we left the doctor’s office last week, he said his schedulers would be getting a hold of me to plan the D&C surgery. I thought I’d be getting in soon or at the latest two weeks out. I was terribly wrong, according to his scheduler he’s super booked up and I can’t go in till the end of February 2017. I was so shocked since this doctor had the nerve to scare us to death with the word “cancer” and to have to wait and hope that if it is that ugly word it won’t get worse or spread.

Plus with a newborn I don’t think waiting two months for this surgery is reasonable since I am on strong pain med to deal with all of this. We also worry about being on this medication long term while nursing. They say it’s fine for now but I don’t think anyone thought my surgery would be so far out.
Oh goodness, I just want to get this thing done and over with. I want to go back to feeling normal. I am sick of the cold chills, body aches, lack of energy, and pain.

I have managed to get the surgery date moved closer but still have to wait a month and a half out. That’s not good enough, so luckily I see another OB in the same clinic today and hope they can squeeze me in sooner. If not, I guess I keep fighting or I accept Jan 30th as my surgery date. I am also on a cancellation list but I don’t have any faith anyone will cancel. Only time and prayer will tell. I’ll update this as soon as I know.

Deep breathe here we go. Please pray for us.

 

 

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