I haven’t blogged for a while now and that’s because there’s been some big changes. I am taking more naps, I get tired easily, and I am 8 weeks and 5 days pregnant! I’ll be 9 weeks on Tuesday. I found out a few weeks ago. We are overjoyed but scared at the same time because of my horrible miscarriage experience last year. I had an ultrasound 3/31/16 and saw the little heartbeat fluttering.
Before the ultrasound, my husband and I prepared ourselves to see another dead baby because of what we went through last year, which was and still is incredibly traumatizing.
To our surprise there was a living baby in there and it made us happy, but because we aren’t in the safety zone yet (12 weeks+) where the chances of miscarrying is supposed to get lower, we try hard to not get our hopes up that this pregnancy will make it.
We pray and hope we get to meet this baby but it’s out of control. And of course anyone who has miscarried is always scared they will again. Even one of my most Godliest closest friend who miscarried in 2014 and then went on to have a rainbow baby in 2015 (baby after miscarriage) said she worried constantly with her rainbow. So knowing she worried gives me some comfort it’s ok us to worry a bit too.
Some days I worry more than I should, and read about things that probably don’t help… like reading about others going through low progesterone levels. My progesterone hasn’t been great this pregnancy, which was an issue last year and googling about it seems to help but in reality stresses me out even more so I try to stop.
We’ve told a few close family and very little close friends about our news but we aren’t ready to let others know. Sometimes I wish we had kept this a secret from everyone until I reached that 12 week mark like my brother and his wife did, but it would have been super hard to do… and it would feel like lying since a few knew I was seeing a fertility specialist. I also really wanted their prayers.. So what can you do? The only thing really is hope they will respect you by keeping your secret like you asked and not tell a single soul. Oh, and continue praying for us.
I have chosen a midwife for my prenatal and pregnancy care because I’ve had nothing but bad and horrible experiences with OBGYNs in this town and in general. I am so much more comfortable with my midwife and I pray that I can have a home-birth. I keep reading about home-births and am so excited I might have the chance to do it if this journey is successful. Read this article here for helpful info in case you’re giving the idea of a home birth the stink eye.
So with all that being said I have been eating poorly, I can’t stand vegetables right now and hope that I can soon go back to eating better so I can share more posts. Anyway, we are thankful we’ve been blessed once again and ask for your prayers! I’ll try to keep updating about our new journey.